Life with an eating disorder.

Month

December 2011

37 posts

I'm 103 pounds underweight for someone with a height of 5"5? My friend recently lost a lot of weight and i'm really worried xox

Your BMI is 17.1, which is considered underweight. A normal BMI should be between 18.5 and 25.

Dec 31, 2011
You wrote the aim of this blog is to share experiences- I hadn't eaten anything for 57 hours. I was extremely dizzy, felt very exhausted (when not energetic). What hurt the most was my chest, specifically my heart. Then my stomach. I lost 4 cm in waist and 6 in hips. I also lost 4 kg. Then I ate, felt miserable so I self harmed. And then I exercised for 2 hours.

That’s really not healthy. Eat some fruit and veggies, and then rest.
-Tiarra

Dec 31, 2011
Many people don't realize that binge eating is an eating disorder too. It annoys me.

It is very much an eatin disorder. An eating disorder means that you have a distorted view on food, and distorted eating habits. That doesn’t mean you have to starve or throw up to have one. Binge Eating is just as dangerous and unhealthy as anorexia and bulimia.

Dec 31, 2011
I am 5'2 and around 103lb. Everyone tells me I'm incredibly skinny. I feel fat ALL the time. My stomach and legs are really big to me. My best friend is only an inch shorter than me but her metabolism is so fast that she is 85lb. I wish I was like her. I sometimes only eat dinner or don't eat at all, but then I eat so much the next day. I NEVER purge though. Do I have an eating disorder?

I’m not a doctor, so I can diagnose you with an eatin disorder.
But love, I’d kill to be that small. I’m 5’4” and about 155 :/

You aren’t fat, I promise.

-Tiarra

Dec 31, 2011
if i dont lose 25 pounds by february, im thinking of killing myself. i cant live with this anymore & i dont know what to do

Please don’t kill yourself.

Think: if you started today, you’d have about two months. That’s eight weeks. The healthy amount to lose a week is two pounds. That’s approximately sixteen pounds you could lose by then, and you’d have an easier time keeping it off. Just eat healthy, an excercise. You don’t need to kill yourself.
-Tiarra

Dec 31, 2011

it makes sense now. During March or May, I’d want to starve

myself, or make myself not to eat certain things. I just wanted

to eat breakfast & dinner. But it got worser.. and worser, and

worser. I tried stopping with my obsessed eating. And I did ,

but however everything shattered down this summer. This

summer, I started starving myself alot. And when I wasn’t

happy with just starvation I started vomiting. Everday. Twice

a day, then maybe in the morning, in the afternoon and at

night. I couldn’t stop. I woke up early to pretend I already ate

breakfast. I faked my breakfast and only ate dinner. And

when I could I’d leave some of that too. I didn’t want to eat.

And when My mom made dinner I didn’t want to eat that or

anything. I hated food, food was my worst enemie.  I

managed to fake everything , that I lied about eating. I

managed to lie about eating for about three days. And within

those three days, I didn’t eat not even one bite or a sip of

water. I hated myself. I hated it. Once I told my sister, she

yelled and yelled and yellled. Once she told my mom , she

yelled and yelled until I would stop. SHE JUST YELLED. She

didn’t help. She didn’t take me to the doctars or anything. She

ignore the fact that I wanted her help. They all think I’ve

stopped. I can’t. The most is doing it when I shower. or during

my shower. and thats every three days. Im’ sorry but that

doesn’t cut it. I need to do it everyday. How? Im screwed. I
I hate eating lunch. I hate it. its lunch and dinner that I eat.

Im going to soon enough and kill myself if I don’t escape from

this food. like I said. worst enemie Eh?

Dec 31, 20112 notes
Another question. My mother keeps telling me about losing more weight, sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for her or like I'm not skinny enough for society; the reality is that due to being bullied in the past and lost 12kg to become more healthy due to a health problem I don't want to talk about, I still feel like 'I'm fat' like everytime I eat something I start kicking to myself, I try to hide everything to my parents since they never supported me in my decisions

I don’t really know what your questions is, but 12kg… That’s about 24 pounds, right? That’s really good. You ahouldn’t kick yourself over that.
-Tiarra

Dec 31, 2011
Do you think that being 'skinny' or just 'thin' is the way to get accepted by society? I am 20 years old, 1.62m and 70kg and I know some people will tell me about 'losing weight', so far I've lost 12 kg and I feel like I'm still fat and not good enough for anybody. I never tried an eating disorder before but I used to be bullied by my peers when I was in high school, what are your views about body types, and the obsession of society for being skinny?

Honestly, in this society, no matter what you do you won’t be accepted. You’re either too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too beautiful, too straight, too gay, etc. it’s fucked up, but this is the world we live in. As long as you’re happy with yourself, and you surround yourself with people who love you, fuck what society says.
-Tiarra

Dec 31, 2011
I even fail at having an eating disorder.

How do you fail?

Dec 31, 20113 notes
every time I eat, I feel like a failure, I want to purge or exercise but my parents are always watching me. I sneak upstairs to weigh myself sometimes and even though I only gained a ounce, I swearI feel the fat rolls. Even if I lost weight, I stil feel fat and ugly

I hate that feeling. But I assure you; you’re a beautiful person. You just need to start believing that.
-Tiarra.

Dec 31, 20111 note
every night before i go to bed, i check to see if i can still feel my bones.

Me too :/

Dec 31, 20111 note
I was apparently giving rights to answer your asks, so I assure you, I'm working on them as we speak.

-Tiarra

Dec 31, 2011
What do you think is the maximum weight you could lose in a week?

I don’t know the maximum weight. The healthy weight is 2lbs. I can’t give advice on things like this.

Dec 27, 2011

I hadn’t eaten anything for 57 hours. I was extremely dizzy, felt very exhausted (when not energetic). What hurt the most was my chest, specifically my heart. Then my stomach. I lost 4 cm in waist and 6 in hips. I also lost 4 kg. Then I ate, felt miserable so I self harmed. And then I exercised for 2 hours.

-Anonymous

Dec 27, 20116 notes
#story #submission #eating disorder
Its 630pm I haven't eaten all day... Should I eat?

Yes. I can’t force you to eat but honestly, you will feel better for it. I can relate to how you feel about food and I know it’s hard but just take it one step at a time.

Dec 27, 2011
Dec 27, 201116,330 notes
Dec 26, 201111,615 notes
Dec 23, 2011109 notes
Dec 21, 201121,372 notes
There will be 500.08 Kcal in 28.
Dec 21, 2011
I am pretty sure it is 500.08
Dec 21, 2011
If there is 1786 kcal in 100g, how many is it in 28? I'm dying to know, please answer.

I have no idea, sorry. If anyone wants to help, then message me. 

Dec 21, 20111 note
Dec 20, 201148 notes
#eating disorder
I wish i was beautiful.

My names Rhianna. I live in a very diverse town, one I wont name. Ever since I was in 7th grade, I’ve had two eating disorders. They compete with each other constantly. I am both an over-eater, and anorexic. 

My over-eating would be described to some people as simply binging, but the fact is that its not. It like I’m on a constant binge, twenty four hours a day. 

But then, when I start to get depressed about my ever-rising weight, I don’t eat.  Well, i try not to, but my parents constantly nag at me, that im not eating enough. They literally treat me like a child, not letting me leave the table until I eat my damn food. I’ll later go and puke the contents of my stomach out. The next day, my over-eating will kick back into place. 

I don’t know how to go about maintaining a healthy weight. I’ve never been below 140 pounds, since I was 10. I’m 14 right now, and weighh 180. I feel disgusting, ugly, and just plain gross. I feel like no one loves me enough because of how gross my body is. 

I don’t know what to do, and I’m super scared. 

Not that you can help-I just thought you might wanna know my story. 

-Rhi. 

Dec 19, 20114 notes
#submission
Dec 18, 20112,832 notes
I don't know wether I have an eating disorder or not, for the past two years I've been in a cycle of starving and binging, I get the most majority symptoms of anorexia and bulimia. After a binge I get a lot of guilt and shame, like no self control, I feel incredibly bad about myself, then I go back onto 'track' and fast and restrict for a couple of weeks until something triggers me then I binge, it's like a cycle. I was just wondering if you knew this was just bad eating habits or something else

You have a lot of symptoms, but I am not a doctor and over the internet I couldn’t possibly determine whether you have one or not. All I can say, is many of the signs you described I experienced when I was developing an eating disorder however I got better before it got worse. Try talking to someone who knows you about this, they might have a better perspective. It is definitely bad eating habits, I couldn’t determine whether it is anything more without actually meeting you sorry. 

Dec 18, 2011

I am a person who is addicted to self harm. I cut and burn myself, although no one knows about my burning. I have been hospitalized once for cutting and attempt in suicide. Right when I got out, I really wanted to change. I learned that I harmed myself because I hate myself. I am medically over weight, maybe even obese. So I started a diet, and I maybe eat one meal a day, and I usually purge it. This has been going on for 2 weeks, and I’m starting to harm myself again as well. My body aches right after I eat, and I feel like it can’t handle food anymore. I didn’t mean to do this to myself, and it just makes me hate myself more. I don’t want to be hospitalized again. I can’t go through that again. I can’t tell my family and I don’t want to talk to my therapist about it. I’m just so ashamed. I did this to myself and I don’t know how to go back. I’m just so lost, I might be worse than before. I am starting to scare myself and I don’t know what to do.

Submitted by: Anonymous

Dec 18, 20116 notes
#submission #story
Dec 18, 20112,242 notes
An eating disorder doesn't mean you never eat and exercise all day. It means you are consumed and being destroyed by a little voice that constantly says "you're fat".
Dec 18, 20118,896 notes
I guess I should introduce myself.

I am one of the new co-owners of this blog. My name is Tiarra, and I run http://fromonecuttertothenext.tumblr.com/ http://andillhaveyouknowimscaredtodeath.tumblr.com/ and http://worthlesshopelesssick.tumblr.com/ I am 17 years old, and I live in the US. I’ve been struggling with depression for years, and have a cutting and starvin addiction. I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder as well. I know my life hasn’t been as bad as others, but my problems are still very real to me. I know what it’s like to feel like there’s no one there, and that all hope is lost. What I want to tell you is that you are all beautiful, strong, unique, and priceless individuals. And if you get need anyone to talk to, all 3 of my other ask boxes are open, plus this one. Be strong, lovelies.

Dec 18, 20111 note
I'm proud of you that you will stop posting because this isn't helping you. I wish you all the best, and if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. <3

Thank you :)

Dec 18, 2011
Important, please read

I apologise for not posting anything last night but something really bad happened which I don’t want to talk about. Thinking about it, I don’t think I will be posting anything in a long time because to be quite honest, it’s not helping me. I am trying to become fit and healthy. This blog just doesn’t help. 

If anybody would like to help run the blog by making posts then please contact me. If not, I will be deleting the blog. 

Dec 18, 2011
Send in your submissions to my ask box!

It’s been a while but I’m back! I’ve got quite a few posts I’ve got ideas for but any more suggestions would be amazing. Remember: these posts are about your experiences, you can also submit your own story and I’m thinking about making posts on recovery to help people? I don’t know whether that’s a good idea or not. More posts will be up next week, keep them submissions coming!

-You are not alone <3

Dec 13, 2011
Your blog really helps me, to see that there are others. I'm not glad that others have an ED... you know what I mean? I always feel lonely, but then the voice in my head tells me that I'm fat. I don't know what I want to say.... Thank you<3 sorry my English is so poor.

Thank you. I’m really glad it helps you, you are not alone <3 And your English was good :)

Dec 9, 2011
I'm 5'6'' and I was 122lbs, now I'm 102 but I never totally starved myself... when I did I just got fat (from the 110 to these 122lbs) then I started counting calories and eating less calories than I actually need. What do you think? (My english sucks, sorry)

Sorry I would like to help but I don’t really understand what you’re asking me. Maybe try and explain a bit more? 

Dec 4, 20111 note
Dec 4, 2011694 notes
what's your personal? and will there be any posts soon?

Hey there! I am pleased to say that I only have one more exam left which is tomorrow so there will be new posts on the weekend!

My personal is http://holding-ontohope.tumblr.com/

Dec 1, 2011
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